Taking Stock AND Saving Grace

Posted by admin on December 15, 2011

By Tina Colton

2011….phew!  Does anyone else wonder what happened to the last 11 and half months?  For me, this time of year presents so many competing pressures – planning for 2012 with my business, desiring to acknowledge those who supported me in 2011 in a meaningful way, wanting to spend time with loved ones (both four- legged or two-legged) and, oh yeah…the holidays.  It would be easy to walk around and intermittently let out a solid “Ahhhhhh!” and then continue on with the next thing on my list.

Fortunately, and especially, it’s during this time period when having tools and resources to provide me with a broader, wiser, perspective becomes critical – if not sanity saving.  One such tool perfect for this time of year is a process we use at YSC called “taking stock.”  Taking stock is a reflective activity which allows you to gain a more holistic perspective on your year, learn from your accomplishments, and take accountability and action for areas in which you would like to see improvement in the New Year.  Unlike setting New Year resolutions which always, for me, seem as improbable and desirable as getting on the scale the first day after the holidays, “taking stock” offers a way to already be clear and in action before the clock strikes 12 on 2012.

See how it works for you.  Remember, a more expansive, sane, compassionate, and grace filled perspective is waiting for you just around the corner and the next deep breath!

Taking Stock:

Find a quiet, private space where you will be undisturbed for 30-45 minutes.  Try creating some ambience that feels good to you (e.g. lighting a candle, maybe burning some of your favorite incense).  Using your preferred writing tools and note your answers to the following questions.

1. Reviewing accomplishments and what worked

a) What happened this year that you feel really good about?  Be specific, listing all the accomplishments that make you feel proud. Consider a holistic view, including progress in your relationships with family, friends, colleagues, partners, bosses, peers, etc., your professional successes, your health and well-being, and any others areas in your life important to you.

b)  What did you do, by yourself or with others, supporting those results? For example, what did you do that worked well in your communication with others, the way you made decisions, how you asked for support, how you built relationships, and or how you talked to yourself?

c)  Before continuing with step 2, allow yourself time to sit with what you wrote for a couple of days, adding to the list, being present and accepting of any emotions that emerge.

2. Letting yourself off the hook

a)  Reviewing your list of accomplishments from step 1. Notice any feelings and/or physical sensations in your body that arise.  Accept whatever emotions emerge as you engage in this activity.  For some people, taking stock in accomplishments can foster emotions of regret regarding the other side of the coin – our perceptions of what we did not do well, enough of, or at all.  This side of the coin lines most of our “mental bank accounts.”

b) Putting your notes aside, move into a comfortable seated position, supporting your spine.  Closing your eyes, take a deep breath in through your nose – expanding your abdomen, hold the breath, and then exhale all the air out with a sigh.  Repeat this process, taking 5 more deep inhales and exhales into your abdomen.

c)  Direct your next exhale into the center of your heart, taking a few deep breaths in this area of your body.  Ask yourself, “What do I need to let myself off the hook for this year? “

d) When you’re ready, open your eyes and write down the ideas that came to mind.  Once again, allow any emotions to flow without judgment.

3.  Setting Direction for the New Year

a)  Write down one key thing you would like to feel better about in 2012.

b)  Ask yourself, “How would I benefit personally if this area in my life were improved?

c)   Sit quietly and ask yourself, “Am I willing to take action or make changes in this area to better my life?  Really?”  Notice your feelings and physical responses.  If the answer is a clear, “YES!” – continue on to the next step.  If not, ask yourself what you are willing to take action on.  With this clarity of commitment, amend your answer on what you would like to feel better about in 2012.

4. Stepping into your preferred New Year

a) Imagine it’s a few months from now…early in 2012, and you’re noticing this area in your life is indeed better.   What signs are you seeing indicating improvement? Who else notices these changes?  What are they saying about the changes?  What are they noticing different about you? How are you feeling?  What else are you noticing?

b)  Be specific and detailed in noting the changes.  For example, rather than “my relationship with my partner is better,” describe what’s happening that is evidence the relationship is better (e.g. We laugh more often.)  It is important to use the future perfect tense as if you’re actually experiencing the future now.

5. Taking action – making progress!

a) Revisit your list of what worked in 2011 to accomplish results. Consider what you may want to apply in 2012 to support your preferred new year.

b) What are 1-2 small action steps you can take in the next 2 weeks to move things forward?  Who is someone you can reach out to for your accountability and sharing.

6. Review and Revise

a)  This is one of the most important steps in the process! Often we get discouraged when we did not do what we set out to do in step 5. We get frustrated and want to quit. This line of thought is what derails the best set of intentions and resolutions. An alternative thought process is to focus on and list what’s better or has worked for you.  As small as the progress might be, it is still an achievement.  (e.g. I held a conversation with my friend or boss and it did not result in a perfect resolution. What worked, however, is that unlike previous discussions, I allowed her to do most of the talking and asked more questions.) Doing this allows us to maintain accountability, build momentum and learn more about what’s working.  Most of all, it keeps us focused on our goal.

b) Review your list of successes. Decide what you would like to continue and/or do more of or differently based on your review.  (e.g. I will listen even more intently during conversations and spend time before discussions challenging assumptions I may have about the other person.)

c)  Decide on 1-2 small steps you can take in the next week that will support your momentum.

d) Repeat this process as often as you like, allowing yourself to learn, revise, experiment and grow!