2011….phew!  Does anyone else wonder what happened to the last 11 and half months?  For me, this time of year presents so many competing pressures – planning for 2012 with my business, desiring to acknowledge those who supported me in 2011 in a meaningful way, wanting to spend time with loved ones (both four- legged or two-legged) and, oh yeah…the holidays.  It would be easy to walk around and intermittently let out a solid “Ahhhhhh!” and then continue on with the next thing on my list.

Fortunately, and especially, it’s during this time period when having tools and resources to provide me with a broader, wiser, perspective becomes critical – if not sanity saving.  One such tool perfect for this time of year is a process we use at YSC called “taking stock.”  Taking stock is a reflective activity which allows you to gain a more holistic perspective on your year, learn from your accomplishments, and take accountability and action for areas in which you would like to see improvement in the New Year.  Unlike setting New Year resolutions which always, for me, seem as improbable and desirable as getting on the scale the first day after the holidays, “taking stock” offers a way to already be clear and in action before the clock strikes 12 on 2012.

See how it works for you.  Remember, a more expansive, sane, compassionate, and grace filled perspective is waiting for you just around the corner and the next deep breath!

Taking Stock:

Find a quiet, private space where you will be undisturbed for 30-45 minutes.  Try creating some ambience that feels good to you (e.g. lighting a candle, maybe burning some of your favorite incense).  Using your preferred writing tools and note your answers to the following questions.

1. Reviewing accomplishments and what worked

a) What happened this year that you feel really good about?  Be specific, listing all the accomplishments that make you feel proud. Consider a holistic view, including progress in your relationships with family, friends, colleagues, partners, bosses, peers, etc., your professional successes, your health and well-being, and any others areas in your life important to you.

b)  What did you do, by yourself or with others, supporting those results? For example, what did you do that worked well in your communication with others, the way you made decisions, how you asked for support, how you built relationships, and or how you talked to yourself?

c)  Before continuing with step 2, allow yourself time to sit with what you wrote for a couple of days, adding to the list, being present and accepting of any emotions that emerge.

2. Letting yourself off the hook

a)  Reviewing your list of accomplishments from step 1. Notice any feelings and/or physical sensations in your body that arise.  Accept whatever emotions emerge as you engage in this activity.  For some people, taking stock in accomplishments can foster emotions of regret regarding the other side of the coin – our perceptions of what we did not do well, enough of, or at all.  This side of the coin lines most of our “mental bank accounts.”

b) Putting your notes aside, move into a comfortable seated position, supporting your spine.  Closing your eyes, take a deep breath in through your nose – expanding your abdomen, hold the breath, and then exhale all the air out with a sigh.  Repeat this process, taking 5 more deep inhales and exhales into your abdomen.

c)  Direct your next exhale into the center of your heart, taking a few deep breaths in this area of your body.  Ask yourself, “What do I need to let myself off the hook for this year? “

d) When you’re ready, open your eyes and write down the ideas that came to mind.  Once again, allow any emotions to flow without judgment.

3.  Setting Direction for the New Year

a)  Write down one key thing you would like to feel better about in 2012.

b)  Ask yourself, “How would I benefit personally if this area in my life were improved?

c)   Sit quietly and ask yourself, “Am I willing to take action or make changes in this area to better my life?  Really?”  Notice your feelings and physical responses.  If the answer is a clear, “YES!” – continue on to the next step.  If not, ask yourself what you are willing to take action on.  With this clarity of commitment, amend your answer on what you would like to feel better about in 2012.

4. Stepping into your preferred New Year

a) Imagine it’s a few months from now…early in 2012, and you’re noticing this area in your life is indeed better.   What signs are you seeing indicating improvement? Who else notices these changes?  What are they saying about the changes?  What are they noticing different about you? How are you feeling?  What else are you noticing?

b)  Be specific and detailed in noting the changes.  For example, rather than “my relationship with my partner is better,” describe what’s happening that is evidence the relationship is better (e.g. We laugh more often.)  It is important to use the future perfect tense as if you’re actually experiencing the future now.

5. Taking action – making progress!

a) Revisit your list of what worked in 2011 to accomplish results. Consider what you may want to apply in 2012 to support your preferred new year.

b) What are 1-2 small action steps you can take in the next 2 weeks to move things forward?  Who is someone you can reach out to for your accountability and sharing.

6. Review and Revise

a)  This is one of the most important steps in the process! Often we get discouraged when we did not do what we set out to do in step 5. We get frustrated and want to quit. This line of thought is what derails the best set of intentions and resolutions. An alternative thought process is to focus on and list what’s better or has worked for you.  As small as the progress might be, it is still an achievement.  (e.g. I held a conversation with my friend or boss and it did not result in a perfect resolution. What worked, however, is that unlike previous discussions, I allowed her to do most of the talking and asked more questions.) Doing this allows us to maintain accountability, build momentum and learn more about what’s working.  Most of all, it keeps us focused on our goal.

b) Review your list of successes. Decide what you would like to continue and/or do more of or differently based on your review.  (e.g. I will listen even more intently during conversations and spend time before discussions challenging assumptions I may have about the other person.)

c)  Decide on 1-2 small steps you can take in the next week that will support your momentum.

d) Repeat this process as often as you like, allowing yourself to learn, revise, experiment and grow!

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself.” – Wayne Dyer

As I build my life from my broader perspective, I have learned that when I judge others, it is because I am seeing the world the way I want to see it — not the way it is!  When I judge, it can affect my body physically and cause me pain. Judging others is a result of my own feelings of inferiority. Rather than experiencing and addressing the pain of my feelings, it’s easier to judge others. Phew … that’s a relief. I’ve said it out loud!!

It is true for my clients, too, and probably you! In a moment of judgment, you are experiencing the feeling of powerlessness. Most of us don’t take the time to become aware of that feeling of powerlessness. instead, we lash out to keep from feeling the pain. In my work with clients, I’ve found that when they judged, they were always trying to change another person and in turn, trying to make themselves feel more powerful.

One way I support clients at getting past judging is through Guided Meditation. This valuable tool helps them recognize, rather than act out, their feelings. To get to the heart of judging, my clients must have the determination to look within and seek clarity. They must go deep inside and connect by holding the feeling in place and then transforming it through acceptance and love.

Another effective way my clients challenge the judging urge is by putting themselves in the other person’s shoes. Perception of the other person will change once we begin seeing through their eyes. Doing this more often will build inner strength and power, some of the keys to a more joyful life.

It’s not imperative that we stop judging, however. Choosing to continue will simply create the same negative consequences in our lives. Judging does not bring joy. It brings pain and blocks us from giving the gifts we were born to give. I believe if we choose to challenge the judging, we will create positive consequences that are more nourishing, more fruitful, and more empowering and, ultimately, bringing more joy into our lives.

Note: Would you like Guided Meditation to assist you in eliminating judging from your life? Let Your Source Connection’s practitioner help you. A 60-minute one-on-one Guided Meditation session is designed and recorded specifically for you. During this session, a skilled energy practitioner will lead you into your own inner energy temple where you will meet with an aspect of yourself most beneficial to your current life query. The practitioner will support you in understanding the language of your energy/spirit as you formulate a plan of action designed to actualize its inspiration in your life.  For more information, click HERE.

Horses serve as powerful agents for personal leadership and well-being…
Did you know that horses are superb vehicles for individual and group transformation? Over the past two decades, the growing fields of equine guided-learning and equine assisted-therapy have had effective results by using horses as a vehicle for learning and healing with thousands of people. These results include supporting adults and children in dealing with key challenges and fulfilling important goals in their lives.

What makes working with horses so effective for transformation and growth?
Given their prey status in the wild, horses are born with an innate concern to seek safety in their environment. Following their natural “herd” mentality, most horses look to their handlers as potential “alphas,” or the leaders of the herd, who can provide this safety. This combination of prey and herd instincts creates a natural mirror for adults working with horses to learn about themselves and how these instincts show up in other areas of their lives.

Equine coaches and participants of workshops using horses emphasize the profound accelerated learning benefit that horse-human interactions create. These horse-human interactions often provide people with immediate insights enabling them to move through blocks in their own leadership or personal goals. This could take months to uncover with other forms of talk-therapy or coaching.

Participants also find that overcoming their fear of working with these large animals (often weighing over 1000 pounds!) provides a powerful metaphor in overcoming large challenges and fears in other areas of their lives. In addition, the organic nature of the horse-human relationship provides a special healing quality often described as a “calming effect.”

Passionate about supporting individuals in fulfilling their personal and leadership goals, YSC applies the unique learning and healing benefits of working with horses in a workshop called Horse Reflections™.

How Horse Reflections™ Supports “Becoming Your Own Leader”
During the “Becoming Your Own Leader” retreat, we will tap into the mirror horses can provide in learning about ourselves as leaders. In this workshop, you will work with a small group of co-learners and a professional facilitator to focus on building self-awareness while working safely with horses (groundwork only – no riding). This workshop will support deepening your ability to:

• Communicate authentically and effectively in relationships
• Gain insights on your current leadership vibration
• Experience what it feels like to be fully present and lined up with your own inner leader
• Connect with horses in a magical and safe way

TESTIMONIALS
“The equestrian experience workshop facilitated by Tina Luddy was an eye-opening experience for me. Through working with the horses and reflecting on the experience, I realized how my interaction with horses mirrors my interactions with humans. I saw how my fear of horses parallel with my fear of others. The one-on-one coaching with Tina helped me to see how I could address this fear in my life.” – Alesia Latson, Director Leadership and Learning, Fidelity Investments

“When I received the invite for the seminar, I was intrigued by its uniqueness. Horses and leadership development — I wondered what the connection could be. I enrolled more out of curiosity than anything telling myself it would be a worthwhile networking opportunity. My expectations were far exceeded. Tina facilitated an interactive, intensely enlightening program. Through interaction with horses, I was able to better understand how I project myself and how I lead. Tina was present to coach me directly as I encountered challenges and redirected my efforts in ways that supported better results. I would highly recommend this workshop.” – Joan McGrail, Senior Human Resource Executive, Helix Technology Corporation

We here at YSC are very excited about inviting you to our “Becoming Your Own Leader” retreat. This intensive program is designed to be a small, intimate group of ten participants ready to recreate their lives from passion and purpose. During this three-day retreat you will be supported in accessing, building partnership with, and learning to trust in your own Personal Source of Guidance.

We believe, with certainty, that people have the ability to effectively connect with their own personal source of guidance. We also believe that actively building a relationship with and listening to this source of guidance is what leads to powerful action steps towards change.

As coaches, over the past 20 years, Tina and I have worked with hundreds of people, globally, at creating positive changes in their personal and professional lives. We’ve continuously heard people express a desire or need of finding a connection to something deeper and more meaningful in their lives. Rather than a religious pursuit, this tends to be a search for a spiritual belief system at creating greater purpose and, ultimately, support in living a more joyful and satisfying life.

To address this need, we explored and experimented with a variety of philosophies and teachings on spirituality, adult learning and change in order to enrich and expand our coaching acumen and our own spiritual belief systems. This learning process, ultimately, led to the creation of a holistic coaching approach that focuses on supporting people at defining and building their own spiritual belief system that we call “Your Source Connection.”

Our experience of observing so many people create amazing positive change in their lives through their Source Connection has led us to view our own relationship with Source as our primary resource for guidance, inspiration and support. We’ve found that helping people develop this relationship to their Source Connection, (which some call God, Goddess, Higher Self, Spirit, Universe, etc.) enables them to experience an increased sense of empowerment and security in making critical business and personal decisions. As a result, people expressed feeling more satisfied and energized with their lives!

At the “Becoming Your Own Leader” retreat, we’ll support you in building your relationship with Your Source Connection by sharing a variety of methods and resources for listening more deeply when discerning insights and inspiration. We also support you at setting clear goals about what you want to experience in your life and offer suggestions on how to express these requests to your Source Connection.

Beyond developing strong communication skills, “Becoming Your Own Leader” will support you in developing the mindset necessary to leverage the laws of attraction at supporting you in aligning more powerfully with your desires. In this way, you will be better able to experience the life you desire, both personally and professionally.

We hope you will join us on this amazing journey of self-discovery and growth. Click here for more information about our “Becoming Your Own Leader“ retreat.

Aligning your vibration is essential to satisfying your manifesting desires. Most folks rely on techniques like journaling and visualization to get what they want, overlooking the significance of an aligned vibration through choosing good feeling activities. Once your thoughts are clear and aligned with your source, your manifested experiences arrive with grace and ease.

So how do you redirect your vibration on any subject? It is simple. Choose to feel good by playing with the ten “aligning activities” below every day, for weeks on end.

1. Filter your thoughts by consciously entertaining thoughts that feel good. Although it may feel impossible to eliminate all negative thoughts, you can give them less airtime and emotion. Practice consistently holding thoughts that lighten your heart and shift your perspective. (Call me 480-518-3660 or email me Cheryl@yoursourceconnection.com and I will teach you a conscious energy technique that will assist in getting to your better feeling thoughts quickly!!)

2. Hang out with animals. Spend time with a four-legged, feathered or scaly companion. If you don’t already have an animal companion, visit a neighbor’s horse or cat, take a dog for a walk or set up a bird feeder. You may even consider adopting an animal from a rescue organization. Animals are natural energy! (I draw energy from the burrow, mule and twelve horses living next door. I, also, love hanging out and nurturing my canine companions, for that matter anyone’s canine companions!)

3. Be selective with your time. Look at your current to-do list. Decide to do those things you enjoy. Which are you not looking forward to doing? Decide to hold off on those things until you are lined up and excited about them. If possible, delegate or hire those items out. You may even decide they do not need to be done after all. Then, most important of all, add to your list activities that bring you joy and enrichment. (I, for example, love to cook.)

4. Spending time in nature is very yummy to your energy. Nature, like animals, is another natural energy enhancer. Take a walk in the park. Go for a hike. Sit in the sun and bathe in its warmth. Lean against a tree to feel and hear the breeze. Lay on the grass and watch the clouds float by. Walk the beach and feel the sand under your toes while the sound of the ocean breaking on the shore surrounds you. Even raking leaves or reseeding your grass can be inspiring this time of year. (I just reseeded my grass and in the process freed up a lot of resistant energy!)

5. Listen to and follow your own guidance. No one else knows what’s best for you than you. Listen for your intuitive nudges and respect them.

6. Intentionally seek out positive people. Seek out those who are fun to be around and whose presence feels good to you. Your vibration is uplifted when you share fun experiences and laughter with like vibrations. Allow yourself to “recharge and redirect” with people you feel most aligned to. (I love hiking or enjoying a “feel good” movie with a “feel good” friend!)

7. Filtering your media is one of the best ways to align your vibe. Feed yourself books that turn you on and connect with your inner-being and broader perspective. Stop reading what doesn’t feel good – tabloids, trade journals, daily newspapers. If there is news you really need, someone will tell you. If there’s a TV show you truly enjoy, tune in, watch it… and then turn the TV off! Listen to music you enjoy. Avoid unpleasant sounds. (I love listening to orindaben.com meditations or abraham-hicks.com workshop material. I mix this up with my honey’s cover band music and I am rocking in the free world!!)

8. Regularly experiencing love and appreciation will align your vibe quickly and easily. Practice random acts of kindness. Intentionally send out love and appreciation to everyone and everything around you, including yourself. (I invite clients to share 3-5 things they are grateful for before beginning sessions. I love to make gratitude deposits in my meditation at night before going to sleep.)

9. Schedule time to quiet your mind through meditation and breathe deeply! This will help give you a new perspective in the middle or end of a busy day! (I love visiting orindaben.com to experience the 5-7 minute desktop meditations.)

10. Rewrite your life story as you wish it to be. Include practical achievements and emotional states of being. Then, record and listen to it during a meditation session. Memorize it as if you were going to tell your inspiring story to a room full of people! (I love to do this in front of my mirror in appreciation of what is already done!)

Play with one or two suggestions at a time, every day, for many weeks to come. As you recharge your vibration you will begin to see evidence of change in all areas of your life! Have fun and be easy! Remember…We never get it done, and still it gets better and better!

I would love to hear ideas on how you recharge your vibration. Let me know in the comment section below!

“And so I said, ‘JUST DO IT anyways!’” John explained, describing a recent triumph of overcoming his fears at posting a powerful blog. Over the past 6 months, John, a well regarded expert in coaching Fortune 500 firms on how to best express opinions in public forums, had been diligently building a better relationship with himself – what I would call his broader perspective, to overcome self doubt.

I’m sure the idea of John working on self-doubt would probably shock his clients, as well as his many followers on Twitter and Facebook fans, who rely on his expertise. Like many high achievers, (and you know who you are), to the outside world he appears confident and strong, while inside he struggles with “measuring up” and “getting it right.”

John’s not alone. We all hear this self-doubt voice when stepping outside our comfort zone. You know, the voice that tells you, “Are you really sure that’s good enough to publish?” or “What will people think about you if this is a stupid idea?” It’s generally required in making desired life changes, professional or personal.

Often, what happens is you write the blog until it’s 95% complete and then keep it in your “drafts” folder. Or maybe you read others’ blogs, articles, brochures, etc. on the same topic or business venture idea and psyche yourself out from moving forward by saying to yourself, “Why bother; it’s already being done!”

From my work as a coach, I’ve witnessed 100’s of people, like John, build the courage to take risks and step outside their comfort zones. Also like John, most people I work with are highly successful professionals, from senior board members in leading organizations to entrepreneurs with thriving businesses. One interesting commonality among these individuals embarking on change is that all have, in some way, cultivated a sense of confidence through some form of supportive inner dialogue. This supportive inner dialogue serves as a “pep talk” unique to them alone. Some phrases such as, “I tell myself to just get on with it!” or “I have nothing to lose!” are common. Yet how they interpret, get inspired by, and take meaning from them is completely unique.

A majority of people emphasized that although part of them felt fear or self-doubt, they chose to listen to another voice providing a more freeing and broader perspective. Like John, they chose to override inner criticism and seek advice of this broader perspective. They also utilized this broader perspective to spur them on, take action, or respond differently to circumstances that typically get in their way of success.

In our work at Your Source Connection, we support people in cultivating a relationship with their own broader perspective. This relationship utilizes their own trusted resource for gaining insight, inspiration, courage and perspective on daily life.

Cultivating a relationship with your broader perspective

One way to cultivate this personal support system is to begin noticing, documenting and understanding how this trusted resource works for you. Here’s a quick activity to support you in developing this understanding.

Journal Activity: Think back to a time when you stepped outside your comfort zone, took a risk, or made a big change. Write down your answers to the following: What helped you to take this step? What did you tell yourself, at the time, that was supportive or helpful, no matter how strange it may sound now? What worked for you?

For example, when moving from Boston to Phoenix, I frequently reminded myself of how pleased my late Uncle Paul would be that I was carrying out his dream of living out West and owning horses. Now, as I look back, this reminder inspired me to take the risks that someone I loved and admired never had a chance to live out.

Once you’ve completed your writing, ask yourself, “What else?” and continue your reflection. Next ask, “What wisdom from this previous, successful experience, might be helpful in applying to a current situation or desired future change?

Consider periodically using this activity on your life’s journey in further clarifying the wisdom from your broader perspective.

I would like to share a defining moment and what led me to do what I do today with such passion…

A defining moment in my life happened in my early thirties. I had what I considered at the time a very successful life that included a great corporate job, an excellent salary and benefits, a good circle of friends, a regular meditation practice, a passion for exercise and always running my personal best in road races. I worked and played hard!

It sounds good—right? It was for a long time, but then one day I noticed that I was not feeling good. I had a head and chest cold that would not go away. I felt completely depleted and confused. I had decided to go home early, which meant I had worked a 10 hour day instead of a 12 hour day. My boss asked if I would take our out of town clients out for dinner? I said no, I was not feeling well and needed to rest. He reminded how great I was with the clients and said that I could come in later the next day. I agreed, against my own gut feelings.

On the way to dinner I was hit by a car while crossing the street, not hurt, just knocked over. It hit me in that moment that something was trying to get my attention. The next day I went to the doctor, who explained that I had walking pneumonia and my lungs looked like that of an old person who had smoked all there life. He told me I needed to take two weeks off from work, to rest and heal my lungs. Yikes! How did I get here?

In my time of recovery I spent many hours meditating and connecting into my spirit and source of well-being. I felt an urgency to understand what happened—how did I become so disconnected? It was during this time of reflection and communion with my spirits that I saw how I had been creating out of balance and motivated by fear. I was operating on very outdated beliefs. I had defined success from an external goal of achievement and a false sense of security. It was in the moment of my awareness that my definition of success changed. I began to shift my attention to creating better balance—body, mind, emotion, spirit. It was then that I made a commitment to assist others with the same focus and intentions.

I then began schooling again and pursued training in the natural healing modalities, and got my degree as a naturologist. I eventually left Corporate America and became an entrepreneur, pursuing personal and professional balance and offering my experiences, guidance system and education to anyone who is looking to create their own connection and build that better balance of body, mind, emotion, spirit!

What I’ve noticed is that when we’re out of balance, it becomes so easy to perceive the varying relationships we have – with our family members, our staff, our boss, our clients, as competing demands. These demands compete for our attention, our time and our ability to meet their expectations. When we’re out of balance, we tend to view ourselves as falling short on some level of meeting these expectations (especially us high achievers). What typically ensues is a spiral of self-criticism, anger at those close to us for not “getting” how overwhelmed we are and increased levels of stress and anxiety which often results in physical symptoms ranging from the less serious to more significant.

So how do you go through change and life with more ease – and a greater sense of balance – while still feeling good about your accomplishments? (I put that in again for all of us high achievers).  A few years ago, I became interested in this question and focused my doctoral research at Columbia University on how successful entrepreneurs learned to make the shift from corporate life to business ownership.

One interesting finding from the research was that although most described their experience of this significant work life transition as the painful experience outlined above – a select few referred to their change as “liberating” and “empowering.” A shared trait among those who experienced this transition positively was a fundamental belief in their own ability to be successful and faith in being connected to and supported by something greater than themselves. Some referred to this aspect greater than themselves as an entity such as “God” or “Spirit” and others emphasized principles or universal laws that they viewed as supportive and inspiring. They all continually drew on their relationship to this aspect greater than themselves to build their self-confidence and to sustain them as they took risks and faced challenges. They also reported that this aspect greater than themselves supported them in maintaining a greater sense of balance and higher levels of satisfaction with their success.

It has been my own experience personally as an entrepreneur striving to maintain balance and in observing my clients, that identifying your own beliefs which sustain and inspire you, and actively cultivating a relationship with this aspect of yourself – is the key to creating greater ease during change and feeling more confident in your decisions and actions.

Consider for yourself how you may more actively cultivate this relationship in your life to experience greater ease, joy, and balance.

Reflective Journal Activity:  Identifying your core beliefs that support and sustain you.

Find a comfortable private space where you will be uninterrupted for 30 minutes. Bring a journal or notebook and a writing instrument.

Bring to mind a time you took a risk or stepped out of your comfort zone. Write out a brief description of what happened, who was involved, and what you felt. Ask yourself, what were you really caring about in that moment? What inspired you to take that risk? What were you telling yourself at the time that supported you in taking that risk? Allow yourself to just write freely for a few minutes. Next, underline key words and themes that stand out to you. Now write out a few key belief statements that you see related to these words and themes. You may wish to return to this journal activity over the next few days as you further define some key beliefs that support you.

**********************
Dr. Christina Luddy Colton